Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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