Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
