Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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