one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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