I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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