I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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