just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize