Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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