You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
