I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
