Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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