you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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