I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
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while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
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I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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