my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
