whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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