The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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