Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
