Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
