clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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