3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
