The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
