I'm pants shitting drunk right now
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
