I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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