So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize