She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
how does that bad decision feel?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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