State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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