I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
