we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
