yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When did angry sex become our thing?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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