I heard we made out
I hate all girls vehemently.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
