my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize