wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
