We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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