that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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