If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
