I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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