Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
