She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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