Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
