Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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