I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
