At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
