Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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