Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.

(314): View more from Missouri

Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.

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(214): View more from Texas

He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.

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(850): View more from Florida

Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips

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(573): View more from Missouri

Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever

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