My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
