do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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