trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
