What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
