you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
