I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
