im having a threesome with these popsicles
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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