And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Michael Bay diarrhea
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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