It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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