apparently the secret to your success is patron
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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