saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize