So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
