So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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