Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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