it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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