A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think your dad took our porno
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
