did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
