The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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