Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
